


Enough

by Keira52175



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Again I Am Sorry!, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Black Mage Warrior of Light, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, I'm re-posting this for those who bookmarked and liked it, Long-Term Relationship(s), Love, Patch 4.5: A Requiem For Heroes Spoilers, So if it's missing from your bookmarks that's why, Sorry about re-posting this but my phone derped and I accidentally deleted it from Ao3, True Love, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 00:29:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19073800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keira52175/pseuds/Keira52175
Summary: ***THIS IS BEING REPOSTED DUE TO THE FACT MY PHONE DERPED WHILE I WAS EDITING IT AND I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT FROM HERE. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAD IT BOOKMARKED***Alex has always had a tendency to bottle up and push aside her own feelings in an effort to stay strong for those she loves and cares for, those who lean and depend on her. A fact Aymeric knows all too well, one which has helped him prepare for the inevitable, and imminent, release of said emotions now that the last person Alex had been staying strong for has fallen.A short one shot which I had written for myself that takes place directly after the events of Patch 4.5 Part 1, involving Alex and Aymeric, how she felt and coped in the aftermath.





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Self-indulgent one shot that I wrote for myself to help with the emotional impact the Patch had on me.

     A soft knock sounded on the door, bringing her out of her thoughts. "Aye?"

    "They have arrived, Alex," Hoary answered in an uncharacteristically subdued voice.

    "Thank you, Hoary," she swiped at the tears that were trickling down her cheeks. "I shall be there anon."

    She heard his feet shifting uncertainly and knew he was hesitant to leave her alone, "Pray, Hoary. There is something I must do."

    "As you wish," he replied quietly.

    She rose from where she sat on Alphinaud's bed, then walked over to the chest of drawers and by the hairbrushes and combs, she found what she had originally came to his room for before the memories nearly overwhelmed her. Alex picked up one of the blue ribbons that Alphinaud used as a hair tie and began to secure it around her left wrist, then stopped. She had already fastened Alisaie's red ribbon to her right wrist and had planned on having Alphinaud's on her left, thus having a twin on each side of her as she has had for so long, however, it did not feel right. They should be together as they nearly always were and as such, Alex tied Alphinaud's ribbon above his sister's. It was not her twins, but it was all she had of them to carry with her until she found a way to bring them back to her.

    Alex glanced at Alphinaud's desk and saw he had left one of his sketchbooks out. She paged through it until she came to a sketch that broke her heart all over again for it was of her, Alisaie and Alphinaud in the Enclave. She was standing in the middle with Alphinaud on her right and Alisaie on her left and he had drawn them with their arms linked. She tore the sketch out, then folded it carefully and placed it her right thighboot for the pantalettes she wore had no pockets. She opened the door and looked around one last time before she gently closed it and went downstairs.

    She walked past the others without a word and went straight to the infirmary. She entered and frowned immediately at what she saw. Although Alphinaud and Alisaie had been placed in beds right next to each other, they were still too far apart for her liking. "Hoary, pray help me," she beckoned, then added at his questioning look. "Their beds need to be closer together."

    The Roegadyn was about to protest, but nodded instead as he saw the expression upon her face. It was one of a woman who was trying her damnedest to hold herself together, one who knew she was the last Scion standing, so to speak, and one who would gladly take their places if it meant her friends would wake.

    Silently, they carefully moved Alisaie's bed within two fulms of her twin as they made sure to leave enough room in between to allow them to be cared for.

    He placed his large hand on her small shoulder and squeezed gently in as much of an effort to comfort her as it was himself. He had never seen the Warrior of Light, had never seen Alex, like this before and neither had the others. To be truthful, they were all more than a bit afraid, both for her and of losing her as they had the others. Whether Alex believed it or not, she was the backbone of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, the thread which tied them all together, and if she should break, or aught else happen to her, they feared they would as well, especially in light of recent events. She was their rock, their pillar of strength, their light in the darkness and their hope and if she should fall, so too would they.

    Alex laid her hand on his and gripped it briefly, then turned away, her focus now on the young twins who appeared to be merely sleeping.

    "I shall leave you alone," Hoary's deep voice rumbled softly.

    "Thank you, Hoary. For everything."

    "It is the least I can do," he stopped at the doorway. "Let me know if you need aught."

    She nodded as she sat on the edge of Alphinaud's bed and took his hand, then Alisaie's. She held them firmly as her eyes flitted back forth between their serene, angelic faces.

    Alex swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to speak, however, the only thing that came out was an anguished sob. She laid her head upon Alphinaud's chest and held Alisaie's hand to her heart as the girl's words echoed hauntingly through her mind, _"So please, don't you dare leave me alone."_

    "I am so sorry. Pray forgive me not protecting the both of you."

    She forced the tears back and bottled up the pain once more. She could not afford the luxury of either, at least not here and not now. Soon she could release her pent up feelings, she promised herself. Very soon.

    She raised her head and a faint smile played upon her lips as she noticed a good portion of Alphinaud's shirt was wet from her tears and she could hear him scolding her for it.

    After Alex changed his tunic, she kissed first Alisaie, then Alphinaud tenderly on the forehead. She quickly walked to the door, hesitated and turned back to look at her friends. "I will do whatever I must to fix this," she vowed quietly. "I will not rest until I bring all of you home. This I swear."

    The others looked to her as she gently closed the door behind her and she was grateful none of them mentioned her red-rimmed, puffy eyes. They watched her in silence as she gathered her pack and duffel, then said "Notify me immediately if there is any change in their condition."

    "Of course, Alex," Coultenet replied his voice but a whisper. "We would never do otherwise."

    "Are you returning to the front then?" Hoary asked, his brow furrowed.

    "I am," she answered evenly. "However, I have a stop I need to make first."

    "May I inquire as to where?" Alianne questioned worriedly.

    "Camp Dragonhead," she faked a smile. "I wish to see my brother, Emmanellain, before I go."

                                    *                                *                                    *

    Alex kneeled before the memorial on Providence Point and bowed her head. She did not feel the least bit guilty for withholding the entire truth from the others as she did see Emmanellain, albeit briefly, when she left her gear and staff at the garrison. She would have no need for either as the grief and the anguish she felt began to turn into emotions much more conducive to her chosen outlet of release.

     _"Why?"_ she whispered softly as she stood and turned her face to the heavens as if the stars themselves held the answers she sought. "Why them? Why not _me_?"

    "Why are you doing this?" Her voice grew louder and stronger with each word she uttered as the pain she heard in it turned to anger. She shouted then, _"What in the bloody hells do you want from me? I have done all that you have ever asked of me! I have already lost so many people that I love and now this!"_

    _"Who else am I going lose? Who are you going to take from me next?"_ Alex yelled furiously at the black night sky, at unknown entities and she felt the power of her magicks surge within her, fueled by her grief-stricken rage. She knew she had only a matter of minutes before she exploded from her pent up emotions and her power erupted on its own for her hands were growing hotter by the second as her magicks grew. However, she would wait until all her pain, all her grief and all else she felt turned into naught but pure, unadulterated rage. Then and only then would she release it, only then would she allow herself the freedom to become what she feared, what Kazagg, Dozol and Da Za warned her about, wrath incarnate.

    She bolted away from Haurchefant's memorial and ran to the ruins surrounding the Steel Vigil where she closed her eyes, tilted her head back and screamed as she answered her own question, "No _one! You will not take anyone else from me! Do you hear me?!"_ Her whole body shook as she clenched her fists. _"No more!_ _I have had enough!"_

    With that, the only emotion she felt now was white hot rage and as she channeled her magicks through her palms, she began to fling fire and hurl lightning at the already decrepit outbuildings.

    Although Alex saw the explosions, felt them shake the very ground beneath her feet and smelled the smoke as she released all she had held within since the day Thancred fell, knew she was becoming lost in her righteous fury and would soon not know much of aught, she did not care. Her last coherent thought was that she hoped Emmanellain would heed her warning and keep everyone away no matter what they saw or heard.

    She saw Alisaie fall in her mind then, and her rage utterly consumed her. Alex thought no more as she called upon the full power of her magicks and in a blind rage, opened the gates and _unleashed hell_ on Eorzea.

                            *                            *                                *

   "Shall I send for Count Artoirel or your father, my Lord?"

    "Nay, they will not be able to get through to her, not now, not when she is like this," Emmanellain shifted his gaze from the smoke and sounds of destruction north of Camp Dragonhead to Honoroit. "We must do as Alex requested and leave her be. She has kept this bottled up far too long, I fear and needs to let it out."

    He glanced around the garrison and saw the fear and the awe in the faces of his men. He knew they were not afraid of his sister, they feared for her, both her safety and her mind.

    "Lord Emmanellain! I must insist you do something about this," Corentiaux stated forcefully. "If not for her well-being, then for that of the camp. I fear if she is allowed to continue as is Providence Point and its surroundings could be hit with enough force that they will break off and fall into the Abyss."

    "Alex would never be so careless as Haurchefant's memorial is there and she would not let it come to harm no matter her state."

    "With all due respect, Lord Emmanellain," Yaelle raised her voice as another explosion reverberated from the north. "Either do something or _I will_! That is your _sister_! What would Lord Haurchefant say if he were here?"

    Emmanellain reached into his pocket and felt for the private linkpearl that he had received shortly after Y'shtola and Urianger fell. He pulled out the note that had been in the box with it and re-read the elegant scrawl again: _"This linkpearl connects directly to me and only me. I shall wear it at all times. Should aught occur, ring me and I will come at once."_

    An almost inhuman howl of rage rent the air as Emmanellain removed the linkpearl from his pocket and placed it in his ear, "Pray, excuse me. I need to make a call." He strode into the empty main hall and pushed the button. It only rang halfway through before a familiar voice answered, "I am here."

    "It has happened," Emmanellain said quietly.

    "Where is she?" The voice asked as he heard a chair scraping in the background, then hurried footsteps.

    "The Steel Vigil."

    "I am on my way. Have a chocobo ready for my arrival!" Then there was silence as the call was ended.

    Emmanellain rushed outside to the stables and ordered, "Have Haurchefant's chocobo ready to ride in three minutes! Full Ishgardian battle barding!"

                        *                                *                            *

    Aymeric materialized at the Aetheryte a few moments later disoriented and nauseous from teleporting. He quickly recovered his senses as a multitude of explosions sounded in quick succession. He turned to Emmanellain, "How long has she been like this?"

    "A couple of hours," the young lord bowed his head.

    " _Hours?_ _Hours?_ And you just _now_ called me?" He questioned in angry disbelief.

    "She needed to release it," Emmanellain said defensively. "I did not know she had bottled this much inside her."

    "Full well you know Alex is-" Aymeric broke off and shook his head. He did not have the time to lecture her brother. "The chocobo?"

    "Samson is ready to ride."

    He cast a questioning glance at Emmanellain as they quickly descended the stairs.

    "He is the only chocobo we have that will even go anywhere near the Vigil right now, save for Buckbeak and he is too small to carry you."

    "I shall take good care of him," Aymeric promised as he swung his leg over the saddle of his late friend's battle trained chocobo who was just as fearless as Haurchefant had been. He heard the angry and anxious cries coming from the stable and knew they came from Buckbeak who was worried about his master. "See to your sister's chocobo."

    He did not wait for a reply as he spurred the jet-black chocobo through the northeastern gates, then veered north.

     _"By the Fury!"_ He exclaimed as they neared what was left of the outpost. It looked like a war zone for the ruins were naught but ash and rubble, and from the sounds further north, it appeared that the battle was still being waged.

    Although he did not believe any creature would dare venture near the area, he tied Samson a distance away from aught that might harm him as he wanted to be certain Haurchefant's chocobo was safe. He gave him a gyshal green and patted his neck, then said, "Stay here. We shall not be long."

    Aymeric rushed to where he knew Alex was for he could feel her presence and the closer he got to her, the more the air felt charged with electricity and the heavier it smelled of lightning. He turned the corner just in time to see her lob a giant ball of fire at the empty husk of one of the few buildings not demolished in her rage and he was awestruck by her power. He knew Alex was the most powerful black mage to ever exist and could wield her magicks without a staff and he had seen her do so on many occasions. However, he had never witnessed Alex in all her strength and glory, had never seen her channel the aether from her surroundings and take it within herself, as she was doing right now, to increase the potency of her magicks and her own stamina.

    She looked like the Fury herself standing amongst the rubble and flames wrought by her own hands. Her hair had come unbound and whipped behind her in the wind. She had shed her coat and jacket, and stood clothed in black thighboots, black pantalettes that strapped around her thighs and a blue, half-top that tied over one shoulder while leaving the other bare, exposed her stomach along with most of her torso and clearly showed her tattoos. Although he thought she looked sexy as hells, he would much rather stare at her at home, where she would be warm and not on the verge of killing herself.

    She slowly turned her head and looked over her shoulder as she became aware of the fact she was not alone. He walked a yalm towards her then stopped for he was suddenly afraid, not of her, but for her as he finally saw her eyes. Her beautiful, bright apple green eyes were now orange and yellow and flickered as if they were on fire.

    Aymeric watched as she casually tossed a handful of fire away from him, then both in fascination and horror as the flames within her eyes receded, only to be replaced by a stormy purple while streaks of lightning flashed in them. By Halone, she looked like a goddess, the embodiment of wrath, fury and rage themselves.

    "Alex!" He called out as he hurried to her and saw her fling lightning bolts from her palms. "Alex, pray stop!"

    She spun to face him fully then, and he watched the recognition flash across her face. Her hands dropped to her sides as she collapsed in a heap on the ground beneath her.

    "Apple!" Aymeric fell to his knees beside and gently scooped her into his arms. He cradled her to his chest with one arm as he tenderly brushed the snow and hair off her face. She was eerily still and pale, however, she was breathing, "Alex, wake up. Pray, pray open your eyes, my love."

    "Aymeric," she whispered hoarsely. "What are you doing here?"

    "I came for you," he smiled lovingly, then kissed her forehead. Relief washed over him as her eyelids fluttered open and he saw that her eyes were, once again, the same apple green shade he adored so much

    "You should not have," she admonished worriedly. "I could have hurt you."

    "Nay, you would never harm me, my heart," he wrapped his cloak around them both, then stood. "Let us quit this place."

    "Not yet, pray," Alex gripped his collar. "I cannot face anyone right now."

    Aymeric noticed the tears glistening brightly in her eyes, he heard the tremor in her small voice and nodded. He carefully picked his way through the rubble and sat before a fire to keep them warm as they may be there a while for he sensed her grief had not been fully spent.

    "I have lost them all, Aymeric," her voice was thick with emotion and muffled as she turned her head into his chest. "And I, the almighty Warrior of Light, was rendered powerless and could not prevent it from happening."

    He felt her about to break and shifted her in his lap to straddle him. Her arms wound about his neck immediately and as she buried her face in the crook of his neck, she spoke, her voice heart-wrenching, "My twins are gone. My Alisaie, my _Alphinaud_." After she choked out Alphinaud's name, Alex snapped.

    Aymeric held her tightly against him with one arm and tenderly stroked her hair with his free hand while she sobbed, "Let it out, sweetheart. I am here now and I have got you."

    Her tears finally ran dry and when she pulled back to look at him, he smiled. Although her eyes were red and swollen, her face was smudged with ash and her hair was an unruly, wild mess that was going to take him a good hour, if not more, to untangle after they returned home, Alex was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Aymeric kissed the tip of her nose, then said softly, "You are _not alone_ , my love, for _I am here_. You have not lost everyone, you still have _me_ and I am _not_ going anywhere." He brushed his lips against hers in promise. "I can only hope that will be enough for you to hold on to and to keep you going."

    Alex surprised him as she claimed his lips fervently to kiss him deeply, then with achingly sweet tenderness as she lovingly cradled his face. She raised her head to gaze into his eyes and smiled adoringly at him. "You, Ser, are so much _more_ than enough," she whispered with such loving reverence he felt tears sting his eyes. "As long as I have you, Aymeric, I have all I need." Her arms snaked about his neck and she clung him as she softly whispered Alisaie's words to her, _"So please, don't you dare leave me alone."_

    "I have no intention of doing such, my heart," he tightened his arms around her as he added, "I must make the same demand of _you_ , Alex."

    "I have no intention of leaving you either, my love."

    Aymeric realized neither of them could make a definitive promise of the sort, that what they had vowed to each other was the best they could offer under the circumstances and in light of recent events. However, he so desperately wished to give Alex more and to receive more from her in return, though he knew that it was not possible at the moment. He could only hope and pray that these words they spoke to each other thinly disguised as promises would be _enough_.

    

    

    

    

**Author's Note:**

> I don't remember what I had previously written here for notes, not verbatim anyway. I think it was something along the lines of that in my HC, Alex is the only WoL. She has always been able to channel aether from her surroundings which is part of the reason she is able wield magick without a staff, rarely uses one and only carries it out of habit. The other reason is because she's highly attuned to the elements, has a special affinity with lightening. That HC for Alex comes from my love of thunderstorms, which is one of the reasons why I adore Ramuh. He is my favorite primal and I almost cried when I had to kill him. 
> 
> Anyway, I apologize again for having to re-post this. As always, thanks for reading! ~K~


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